History of the person
“It’s not my fault.” Are you as tired of hearing this as I am? I’ve been told one of the greatest struggles school administrators face is actually not dealing with disobedient students, but the parents who excuse their inappropriate behavior. “You’re suspending my son for what? I’ll be in with my attorney in the morning.”
Most of us have heard about the law suit over the hot coffee a woman spilled on herself at a McDonald’s drive-through window. How about the jury that awarded $178,000 in damages to a woman who sued her former fiance for breaking their seven-week engagement? The breakdown: $93,000 for pain & suffering; $60,000 for loss of income from her legal practice, and $25,000 for psychiatric counseling expenses (source: Californians Against Lawsuit Abuse) .
It appears the victim mentality reigns supreme in the good old US of A. We’re not responsible, we’re victims of someone or something else. Funny, Scripture seems to have much more to say about the high correlation between outcomes and personal responsibility than victimization. Consider the prophet Daniel, a young man of courage who showed great responsibility in an intimidating situation.
Daniel (when he was somewhere between ages of twelve and fifteen), was among those who were carried captive by Nebuchadnezzar, King of the Chaldeans. We know Daniel was from a royal family (Dan 1:3), well favored (Dan 1:4), and chosen by the king’s highest palace official as one of the select few to learn to speak and write the language of the Chaldeans. The king’s instructions: Daniel and the other chosen young men were to study for three years, be afforded the benefits of rich foods and wines, and then stand before King Nebuchadnezzar to receive his approval and future assignments.
The king wanted much more than to teach these men the language. His plan was to transform them into Chaldeans. The first step – a name change. Ever think about how that would feel? Your given name is taken from you and you are to answer only by the foreign name assigned to you? Captured, taken from their families, their names changed - the identity of these young men was slowly being stripped away.
Daniel was bright. He saw what was happening and purposed to do something about it. “But Daniel laid on his heart that he would not defile himself with the king's food, nor with the wine which he drank. So he asked permission of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.” (Dan 1:8) Daniel chose to honor the dietary laws of his people, eating vegetables and drinking water, preserving his health and his identity as a Jew. He was not willing to be a victim to King Nebuchadnezzar’s insidious plan without a fight. Notice Daniel did not rebel, protest, or act out in some other way. What does Scripture say? Daniel asked permission. A young man of insight and wisdom well beyond his years.
Initially, Daniel’s request was met with fear on the part of the King’s official. If he and his friends were to fare less positively than the others, the official’s very life might be in danger. He was not too excited about honoring Daniel’s wishes. So, Daniel made a deal. He and the others would eat according to their dietary norms of their people for ten days and then be compared to the others who were eating the King’s food and drinking his wine. If they were any less healthy or weaker, the official could decide what changes to make. “ Ten days later, Daniel and his friends looked healthier and better than the young men who had been served food from the royal palace.” (Dan 1:15)
As the narrative continues, we learn that at the end of the three years, Daniel and his 3 friends outshine all of the others. Daniel was given visions by God, the gift of interpreting signs and dreams, and was rewarded with a position of honor: “Then the king made Daniel great, and gave him many great gifts, and made him ruler over all the province of Babylon , and chief of the prefects over all the wise men of Babylon .” (Dan 2:48)
Life Lesson
Generally speaking, our relationships, our health, and our quality of life are much more a result of our choices than a consequence of being a victim to some external event or circumstance. The hard part is that sometimes, like in the case of Daniel, making the right choices can be difficult or even risky. As challenging as it might be, being responsible and proactive is far less dangerous than living out the victim role. Consider the following illustration:
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. . .
I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same
place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. I still
fall in. . .it is a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am.
I get out immedi ately.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it. I walk down another street.
(Taken from The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis)
Life Question
Are you willing to be a Daniel – to learn what the right choices are and then to boldly follow through?
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